


Friends first

by Sassy_Cage



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Past Drug Use, Suicide Attempt, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-15
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-15 05:36:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13024353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassy_Cage/pseuds/Sassy_Cage
Summary: Pete had never really considered the worst thing he could think while with Patrick.But now he had found it.'Is that blood in his vomit, or is it the pills?'





	Friends first

Pete had never really considered the worst thing he could think while with Patrick.  
  
But now he had found it.  
  
_'Is that blood in his vomit, or is it the pills?'_  
  
A few minutes ago, Pete had heard violent coughing coming from Patrick's room next to his.  
  
Reasonably concerned, Pete had rushed to Patrick's room, opened the door with the key Patrick had given him, and found Patrick on the floor, pills and alcohol next to him, violently coughing and, Pete assumed, ready to throw up.  
  
"Oh, pattycake, pattycake no no no no..."  
  
Pete picked up Patrick with all the strength he had and put him on his knees in front of the toilet where Patrick promptly violently threw up.  
  
"Oh, pattycake. My poor pattycake."  
  
Pete held Patrick's bangs away from his face as he coughed before throwing up again.  
  
"My poor sweet honey..."  
  
Patrick heaved before taking a deep breath in.  
  
"P-pete... g-go..."  
  
Pete shakes his head and Patrick coughs again.  
  
"No. Not now. What happened to you, Pat? Wha... why..."  
  
Pete realized it didn't really matter. There were a lot more things he needed to worry about right now.  
  
Pete slips Patrick's glasses off before they slide off and he slowly gets up.  
  
"Stay right here, Pat, I'm gonna get you water just... just hold tight little buddy."  
  
He'd never really talked to Patrick like that until now, but it seemed to help Pete calm down.  
  
Pete gets up and gets a cup, fills it with ice, then water, then quickly goes to check the things Patrick took.  
  
Gin, some red pills Pete couldn't identify, and some prescription pills Pete couldn't pronounce, but he knew they were Patrick's mood stablizers.  
  
He realized then exactly what happened.  
  
Patrick hadn't been taking his meds, he'd been taking vitamins to make his bandmates _think_ he'd been taking his meds. Then, after the concert, he'd gone out, gotten gin, painkillers (the bright red pills) and pulled out all the pills he'd been prescribed and promptly took all of it at once.  
  
Pete almost throws up with how absolutely clueless he was to the situation.  
  
"Oh god, Pat..."  
  
He doesn't linger, after a second he rushes back to the bathroom where Patrick is now sweating and heaving.  
  
"Hey, hey, hey, Pat."  
  
Pete pushes up Patrick's chin to make him drink the water and he promptly throws it up.  
  
"Oh god, Pat this is bad. I'm so sorry, Pat."  
  
Pete doesn't want to tear up but he does and he sets the cup down next to the toilet.  
  
Pete leans up, flushes the toilet, and then pets Patrick's hair as he sobs and heaves.  
  
"Sh-should have... let me..."  
  
"No! No! Never! You're never leaving us, do you understand me?!"  
  
Pete is crying now, and his tears drip onto Patrick's hair as he kisses the top of Patrick's head.  
  
"Its gonna be okay, Pat."  
  
Patrick throws up harder than he has the whole time and Pete then sees that this vomit has red in it, large spots of red, and that's when Pete wonders if that red is the pills or blood and he shivers at the fact that he has to ask himself that.  
  
"O-oh god. That..."  
"Did it hurt pattycake? If it hurt you need to tell me-"  
"C-calm down. It always hurts. I just-"  
  
Patrick can't finish because he starts violently coughing once more, spitting thick spit into the toilet.  
  
It takes almost an hour before Patrick's vomiting stops, and he's only reduced to coughing and heaving.  
  
And sobbing.  
  
Now was damage control.  
  
Pete slowly turns Patrick around so that he's leaning against the toilet, facing Pete.  
  
Pete goes and wets a washcloth before sitting in front of Patrick again.  
  
Pete wipes under Patrick's chin and folds the cloth before using it to wipe under Patricks nose.  
  
"Blow."  
  
Patrick sobs, clearly embarassed.  
  
"Pat. Now."  
  
Patrick complies and Pete puts the rag aside, now opting for a dry washcloth that he dries Patrick's face and neck with.  
  
"I knew you've... god Pat I've never thought..."  
  
Pete knew Patrick has done harmful things before. You could see the trackmarks on him if you looked closely and the scars on his wrists were easy to see, but Pete never would have thought he'd do this.  
  
"You're coming to my room, okay? "  
  
Patrick tries to protest, but he's exausted and he lets Pete pick him up, grab his glasses and carry him to his room, where he then sets Patrick's glasses on the bedside table, and Patrick on the bed.  
  
"Here. The ice bucket if you need to throw up. Water right here, okay?"  
  
Patrick weakly nods and Pete tucks him in under the blankets, sitting on the edge of the bed and petting Patrick's hair.  
  
"Pat... what... what could possibly..."  
  
"It wouldn't have mattered, P-Pete. You could have e-easily taken over for me."  
  
Pete's eyes widen, Patrick cannot mean...  
  
"You're a natural frontman, Pete. Everyone loves you. Me, I'm a wallflower, normal and quiet and boring. Everyone loves you, Pete. They wouldn't notice if I just... stopped being there."  
  
Pete tears up.  
  
"Pat... of course they would! You've got charisma, baby. You've got style and passion and a voice that could kill! No one could ever replace you! You... you should..."  
  
Petes crying now, caressing Patrick's face as if touching Patrick will take away all his pain.  
  
"You should know that! Fall Out Boy... Fall Out Boy would be nothing without you... do you understand me!? Do you... fuck..."  
  
Pete was full on crying, he was trying to wipe at his eyes and cover it up but Patrick knew and it broke him.  
  
"You should have just... let me go, Pete. It would have been... easier on you... on Joe and Andy... "  
  
"We're friends, Pat! You can't leave friends behi-" Pete sobs.  
  
"You can't pretend we were friends first, Pete."  
  
Patrick was right. Pete remembered the nights together, the grinding and kissing onstage. The love they shared.  
The fight, the screaming match that ended it.  
"You never loved me, did you?!"  
"Maybe I did!"  
"Then why were you texting that-"  
"WE WERE NEVER DATING PATRICK!"  
That's when Patrick had given up. He grabbed his coat, and walked out the door. He only uttered one last thing that night....  
  
"If I truly loved you, I wouldn't let you go. Thats what you said. I didn't forget."  
Patrick scoffs .  
  
"That isn't why..."  
  
"If I didn't love you, I wouldn't have come to check on you so quickly."  
  
Patrick softly nods.  
  
"I mean.. yeah.. I guess you're..."  
  
"I never didn't love you, Patrick. I was just... so afraid to love you."  
  
Pete wipes his eyes.  
  
"But I'm not backing away this time. I'll stick with you, Pat. I'll tell the press you're mine this time. Two weeks, give me two weeks to do it. You can hate me if I don't. I will. I promise you."  
  
Patrick tears up.  
  
"I... I'll trust you on this."  
  
Pete would kiss Patrick but he instead just gives him an Eskimo kiss before lying down next to him.  
  
"Start taking your meds, Pat. We'll get them refilled in the morning. I never want you trying this again. Never."  
  
Patrick smiles, nods, and curls up next to Pete.  
  
"Never ever."  
  


**Author's Note:**

> As a person with bipolar disorder, I do understand that this may not be super accurate. I'm aware that love doesn't fix everything. Just let me have this
> 
> (Also I don't think this is how pills work but just let me have this)


End file.
